B-Side 13: "Ghosts" – The Sheridan Tapes
CONTENT WARNING: Depictions of homophobia, unhealthy relationships, arguments, paranoia, and illness including a minor heart attack
B-Side 13: A series of recordings by Andrew Sheridan, concerning his relationships with Edgar Morrison and Deborah Fielding
Starring Clayton Currie as Andrew Sheridan, Josie D. Sumner as Edgar Morrison, Madeleine Regina as Caitlyn Stanek, and Jenna Rose as Deborah Fielding, with original music by Jesse Haugen. This episode was written and produced by Wray Van Winkle, and made possible by our supporters at Patreon.com/homesteadcorner and ko-fi.com/homesteadcorner.
Support the TST Pride Collection Kickstarter: https://bit.ly/TSTpride
Script
Transcript
CONTENT WARNING: Depictions of homophobia, unhealthy relationships, arguments, paranoia, and illness including a minor heart attack
Recording Begins
[Cassette noises]
[Click]
[Static]
[Footsteps on concrete floor]
[Distant rumbles of underground machinery and low voices]
[Three gentle, polite knocks]
[Door opens]
Andrew Sheridan
[Small, nervous chuckle] Uh… knock knock?
[Rolling office chair moves]
Edgar Morrison
Yes — uh, hello. Can I help you?
Andrew Sheridan
I certainly hope so, uh… they told me to report to the army liaison for my briefing packet?
Edgar Morrison
Ah, you’re one of our science consultants.
Andrew Sheridan
That’d be me. Uh Sheridan, [Door closes] Andrew Sheridan.
[Footsteps]
Edgar Morrison
Nice to meet you, Mr. Sheridan. Let me just see if I can find your paperwork in here…
[Papers shuffling]
[Papers continue shuffling]
Andrew Sheridan
You, uh… need a hand there?
Edgar Morrison
No no, I’ve got it… still figuring out where everything– Ah! [Pulls out folder from pile] Here we go… Andrew Sheridan.
Andrew Sheridan
Thanks, uh…
Edgar Morrison
Ed… uh, Second Lieutenant Edgar Morrison, US Army Liasson.
Andrew Sheridan
Thanks, Ed, appreciate it.
[Andrew takes the folder and flips it open]
Christ, how much of this am I actually supposed to read?
[Pages turn throughout]
Edgar Morrison
You do realize the nature of the job you’ve signed up for?
Andrew Sheridan
Mmm hmm… top secret, need-to-know, red tape and firing squads, all that jazz. Huh.
Edgar Morrison
This project is of vital strategic importance, Mr. Sheridan. You do understand that, don’t you?
Andrew Sheridan
Yeah, yeah, I know a lot of people up in Washington have a stick up their ass over… uh hey, what’s this section about “fraternization?”
Edgar Morrison
Let me see?
[Andrew turns folder around, Ed reads]
That’s the facility’s non-fraternization policy. Long story short, keep yourself to yourself when you’re off-base, and we won’t have any problems.
Andrew Sheridan
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Edgar Morrison
It means that we should all consider ourselves operatives in hostile territory for the duration of this project. Based on our reports, Oslow County is full of communist sympathizers, hippies, and political agitators.
Andrew Sheridan
Huh. Sounds like my kind of place.
[Page turns]
[Tense beat]
Edgar Morrison
You’re not a communist, are you Mr. Sheridan?
Andrew Sheridan
Well I am an American, so I hardly get a choice in the matter do I?
[Pages continue turning]
Edgar Morrison
Mr. Sheridan, I must advise you–
Andrew Sheridan
Cool your jets Lieutenant, I’m not a fucking spy. I might not like Nixon very much, but I also don’t have any interest in getting myself shot. Plus my recruiter was well aware of my, uh… political leanings before I was hired. I know I’m on about the shortest leash the DOD could find.
[Long beat]
Edgar Morrison
[DEEP BREATH] Are you actually capable of taking anything seriously?
Andrew Sheridan
My work. That’s why you people hired me in the first place, right? I might not be as keen to do things by the book as you are, but I can assure you, I take my work deadly serious, Lieutenant Morrison.
[Beat]
Edgar Morrison
Well. So long as you understand that you are here to do that work at the behest of the US Government, then I think you and I will get along just fine, Mr. Sheridan.
Andrew Sheridan
I should hope so.
[Footsteps]
[Door opens]
[Andrew stops]
Edgar Morrison
Uh… Is there something else you need?
[Beat]
Andrew Sheridan
Andrew.
Edgar Morrison
Excuse me?
[Beat]
Andrew Sheridan
Call me Andrew.
[Click]
[Silence]
[Click]
[Noisy dive bar ambience]
[Upbeat music blares from a jukebox in the background]
[Laughter and chatter of around 40 patrons]
Andrew Sheridan
I’m telling you Ed, Mariner 10 is going to change the game, big time!
Edgar Morrison
[Chuckles] Calm down Andrew, it’s just another space probe… waste of taxpayer dollars, if you ask me.
[Edgar takes a drink as Andrew speaks]
Andrew Sheridan
No, but you don’t get it… interplanetary gravity assist changes everything for space exploration. They’re already talking about sending Mariner 11 all the way out to Jupiter and Saturn, and once it’s out there god knows how far it could go!
Edgar Morrison
[Laughs fondly] Yeah yeah, it’s definitely a fun little toy for the boys back at NASA.
Andrew Sheridan
[Scoffs lightheartedly] Hey now, don’t go badmouthing NASA… I might wanna join those fun little boys down in Canaveral after all this is through.
Edgar Morrison
Oh come on now… a man of your talents?
Andrew Sheridan
[Laughs] Where else would I go? Can’t keep getting myself hired for mysterious DOD ops forever, now can I?
[Beat]
Edgar Morrison
Maybe you could… if I kept putting in a good word for you.
Andrew Sheridan
[Chuckles into drink] Tempting. But… something tells me neither of us are going to get re-hired after MK wraps up.
Edgar Morrison
Why is that?
Andrew Sheridan
[Beat, shrugs] I dunno… I mean, you’ve seen the results from trial 14. A year and a half gone, and we’ve barely raised the Psy-wave threshold above 20 hertz, and any hope of remote viewing depends on–
Edgar Morrison
Are you sure we should be talking about this here?
Andrew Sheridan
What? [Beat] Oh, yeah, we’re totally fine… nobody’s listening.
Edgar Morrison
Are you sure? What if somebody recognizes us?
Andrew Sheridan
They’re not gonna, Ed… and besides, even if they did, they wouldn’t say anything.
[Beat]
Edgar Morrison
What makes you say that?
[Song ends in background, another begins after a moment]
Andrew Sheridan
Because, if they said anything, they’d have to admit they were here too… and nobody at this bar would ever tell a government official they’re a patron. Not unless they want to risk 1 to 6 at Nevada State.
Edgar Morrison
What’s that supposed to–
[In the background, a pair of men laugh loudly]
Oh, Jesus Christ, Andrew.
Andrew Sheridan
Hey, hey, I figured we needed to get somewhere off base to celebrate, Captain.
Edgar Morrison
And you thought here was the best choice?
Andrew Sheridan
[Chuckles] I know, I know… no “fraternization” with the locals, but… it’s just the two of us Ed, and this is about the only place in Oslow where we can drink in peace and nobody will ask our business.
[Andrew picks up his glass, ice cubes tinkling]
Plus you look like a cop anyways, so no one would want to–
Edgar Morrison
Alright! Alright. Enough.
[Andrew chuckles, then lifts his glass]
Andrew Sheridan
Here’s to you Ed… and to many more nights worth celebrating.
Edgar Morrison
And to you, Andrew — for making sure I get out of that damn bunker every now and then.
[Their glasses clink]
[Click]
[Silence]
[Click]
[Cheap motel ambience]
[Old rotary fan rattles overhead]
[Minifridge buzzes]
[Crickets chirp outside]
[Long beat]
Andrew Sheridan
It’s, uh… it’s over.
[Beat]
I wish, uh… I almost wish Ed hadn’t called. That I, uh… I could’ve just skipped town without seeing him. I even thought about it when he called, I, I thought that… maybe seeing him would give me some kind of closure. Make it easier.
[Beat, weary sigh]
God I’m an idiot.
[Bed springs creak as Andrew buries his head in his hands]
[Deep breath] The program’s over. The tunnels are sealed. Far as the rest of the world’s concerned… none of it ever happened. He and I never worked together. Never even knew each other. God, maybe that’s for the best. I just… I just wish I could forget that we–
[Long, pained pause]
No. No, I-I don’t want to forget that. As bad as it ended… we had some good times. I said some things I regret, but I… I don’t — regret him. Never.
[Beat]
[Sighs, shifts on bed] But I, uh… I can’t go back. Ed… Morrison. He’s going down a dark path, and if I stick with him… I’m going to get burned.
[Beat]
I need to go home.
[Click]
[Silence]
[Click]
[School gymnasium echoes with hundreds of voices]
[Children laugh]
[Crowd mills around]
[Slow, listless footsteps over laminated wood floor]
[Faster, brighter footsteps in heels approach]
Caitlyn Stanek
Andy, hey! You made it after all!
Andrew Sheridan
Oh, uh… hey to you too, Cait.
Caitlyn Stanek
I thought you said were busy tonight?
Andrew Sheridan
Yeah, I, uh… I thought I would be. Got stood up again.
Caitlyn Stanek
Oh god, I’m sorry Andy… I know you were looking forward to it.
Andrew Sheridan
Eh, it’s… it’s fine, I’m sure he had a good reason.
Caitlyn Stanek
Men always do, don’t they?
[Andrew chuckles softly]
Oh — Debbie! Debbie, come here, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.
[Slow, uncertain footsteps approach]
Caitlyn Stanek
Debbie, this is that new science teacher I was telling you about. Debbie, Andrew Sheridan… Andy, Miss Deborah Fielding.
Andrew Sheridan
Pleasure to meet you, Miss Fielding.
Deborah Fielding
Oh please, uh… just call me Debbie.
Andrew Sheridan
Only if you don’t call me Mr. Sheridan — I get enough of that from my students.
Deborah Fielding
[Small, awkward laugh] Fair enough.
Caitlyn Stanek
[Noticing something] Ah damn, looks like Ms. Offerman needs me for something… you two keep each other company, this might be a sec.
[Caitlyn rushes off]
[Awkward beat]
Andrew Sheridan
So, uh… do you teach too?
Deborah Fielding
Me? Oh goodness no… I don’t do much of anything, really. Uh, secretary work, when I can find it.
Andrew Sheridan
Oh? So, uh… what are you doing here?
Deborah Fielding
Uh… Caitlyn just wanted to get me out of the house tonight… I tend to keep to myself a bit too much these days.
Andrew Sheridan
Why’s that?
Deborah Fielding
No real reason, it’s just… I’m just kind of boring to be honest. Not much to talk about, really.
Andrew Sheridan
Oh come on… Caitlyn doesn’t make friends with boring people, I know that much.
Deborah Fielding
Really, I’m just… I think she just keeps me around as a charity case sometimes, it’s not really that special–
Andrew Sheridan
No, come on… what do you actually do? What… what gets you out of bed in the mornings?
[Beat]
Deborah Fielding
I, uh… I paint sometimes? Landscapes mostly. Cait’s teaching me how to do portraits and a bit of figure drawing. I’m not that good at it, to be honest.
Andrew Sheridan
You like doing it though, right?
Deborah Fielding
Yeah. [Beat] Yeah, I really do.
Andrew Sheridan
Then that’s all that matters, isn’t it?
Deborah Fielding
I, uh… I guess so.
Andrew Sheridan
You alright?
Deborah Fielding
Yeah, fine, it’s just… real noisy in here.
Andrew Sheridan
You want to step out for a minute?
Deborah Fielding
[Relieved sigh] Oh yes, please.
[Two sets of footsteps move away from the noise]
[Heavy metal door opens and closes]
[Noises cut off]
[Streetlights buzz]
[Insects sing]
[Footsteps stop]
Andrew Sheridan
[Breathing the crisp night air] Ahh… you’re right, this is much better.
Deborah Fielding
[Shivering slightly] Oh, shoot, I left my jacket inside…
Andrew Sheridan
Oh, uh, here.
[Andrew shrugs out of his blazer and hands it over to Debbie]
Deborah Fielding
Are you sure?
Andrew Sheridan
Yeah, it’s fine, it’s… it’s not too cold out, you take it.
Deborah Fielding
[Sighs] You’re a gem.
Andrew Sheridan
[Chuckles] Hardly.
[Shuffling as Deborah puts on jacket]
Deborah Fielding
No really, you’re–
[Recorder’s mic bumps against her]
Oh hey… what’s this?
[Debbie pulls the recorder out of the inside pocket]
[Sound becomes clearer]
Andrew Sheridan
Oh, uh… shit, I forgot I still had that on me.
Deborah Fielding
A tape recorder? W-Why is it running? Were you recording me?
Andrew Sheridan
No! At least, not you, specifically, just… generally kind of–
Deborah Fielding
How long has this thing been turned on?
[Andrew stutters, then stops]
Andrew Sheridan
[Sighs] Gah… Since I got here. I, uh… I have a hard time keeping track of things sometimes… names, people, conversations that I have, I… I record everything just to make sure I don’t forget something important. Been doing it since college.
Deborah Fielding
So… you weren’t intentionally recording me?
Andrew Sheridan
Hand on my heart.
[Beat]
Deborah Fielding
I believe you. [Beat] Here.
[She hands the recorder back to him]
Andrew Sheridan
[Sighs, relieved] Thanks.
Deborah Fielding
It’s alright, I get it… I-I only see about ten people in a week, and I can barely keep track of them without my calendar.
Andrew Sheridan
[Scoffs] Wish I could say the same — I get about a hundred students coming through my door every day.
Deborah Fielding
But you love it too, right?
Andrew Sheridan
[Beat] Nothing else I’d rather do.
Deborah Fielding
Cait says the same thing. Lord knows I don’t get it, but I can see her passion.
[Debbie opens her purse and pulls out a small metal flask]
[Metal cap unscrews]
Andrew Sheridan
What’s that?
Deborah Fielding
Oh, why it’s just water, teacher [Laughs], hand on my heart.
Andrew Sheridan
Huh. Well now I see why Cait likes you so much.
Deborah Fielding
Promise you won’t tell?
Andrew Sheridan
Only if you’ve got enough to share with the class.
Deborah Fielding
[Clicks tongue] I don’t know, it’s a pretty small flask… how about you let me buy you a drink next Friday instead? At the Rangler?
Andrew Sheridan
What, you mean like a… like a drink drink?
Deborah Fielding
O-only if you want to I mean, I-I don’t want to presume, it’s just… uh…
Andrew Sheridan
No, uh, hey, it’s, uh — I would love to, Debbie.
Deborah Fielding
Well, uh… guess it’s a date, then.
[Click]
[Silence]
[Click]
[Tiny studio apartment ambience]
[Radiator clicks as snow falls outside]
[Talk show plays quietly on the TV]
[Beat]
[An old sofa’s springs creak as someone stands up]
[Footsteps over carpet, then wood]
Deborah Fielding
Andy? [Sits up on couch] What are you doing?
Andrew Sheridan
Uh, just getting some coffee love… it’s late.
[Coffee pot is removed from machine]
[Andrew pours coffee into a mug]
Deborah Fielding
Are we going to talk about it?
[Beat]
[Returns pot to machine]
Andrew Sheridan
About what?
[Andrew moves back towards the living room]
Deborah Fielding
The test results, Andy.
Andrew Sheridan
Deb, could we just… not do this right now?
Deborah Fielding
It’s your heart, Andy. [Deborah sits up taller] Cardiomyopathy massively increases the risk of heart failure as you get older, but it could happen at any time if you don’t–
[Footsteps over carpet]
Andrew Sheridan
Debbie, I’m fine, okay. The doctor said the risk was minimal, and I’ve lived with it this long with no symptoms.
Deborah Fielding
It’s progressive, Andy. Your heart is getting weaker every day — what don’t you get about that?
Andrew Sheridan
I do get it, okay? [Beat] Look, I just want to enjoy my Christmas break without thinking about it, is that so hard to understand?
[Debbie goes quiet, frozen]
[Long, tense beat]
Andrew Sheridan
Shit, I… I’m sorry Debbie, I… I just–
Deborah Fielding
I thought you didn’t want to talk?
[Long beat]
Andrew Sheridan
Debbie…
[Andrew sets his mug down, then sits back down]
Debbie, I’m sorry…
Deborah Fielding
Don’t bother with me. You clearly have enough on your mind.
[Debbie turns away, couch springs creaking]
[Long beat]
Andrew Sheridan
It’s, uh… it’s getting late.
[Beat]
Deborah Fielding
I think I want to spend the night at Caitlyn’s.
Andrew Sheridan
I think you need that.
Deborah Fielding
[Pained scoff] You have no idea what I need right now.
Andrew Sheridan
I know. [Beat] But Cait does. [Beat] She always does.
Deborah Fielding
I-I don’t… I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Andrew Sheridan
Maybe not.
[Beat]
[Andrew leans over and opens the curtains slightly]
Snow’s coming down pretty hard now, uh… I can drive you if you want me to–?
Deborah Fielding
I can drive myself, thank you very much.
[Stands up from couch]
Goodnight, Mr. Sheridan.
[Footsteps retreat]
[Debbie grabs her coat, zips it up]
[Door opens, then slams shut]
[Long, painful beat]
[Click]
[Silence]
[Click]
[Empty classroom ambience]
[A clock ticks on the wall]
[Distant sounds of a parade through the windows]
[Plastic chair creaks]
Andrew Sheridan
I, uh… I haven’t recorded in a few days. Everything that’s happened, it, uh… it already feels so unreal. I-I’m, uh… I’m not… sure if it all really happened or not, but, uh… I’m sitting here. I’m sitting here in my classroom.
[Exhales] There was a, uh… an emergency school board meeting this morning. They wanted to decide, uh–
[Breaks off, pained]
[Beat]
He found out. I don’t know how, but… Pastor Seeger found out about Caitlyn. She was… she was always so careful, but… she must have slipped up somehow, stayed out too late or talked to the wrong person or–or trusted someone she shouldn’t have, or…
[Beat]
He didn’t even bother talking to her about it. He just… outed her, mid-sermon in front of the whole damn congregation.
[Beat, breathing heavily]
I saw her face when it happened. I wanted to stand up and defend her, to tell all those self-righteous assholes to cast the first stone if they’re so blameless, tell them all to take their piety and hate and small-minded anger and stick it where the sun don’t shine, to–
[Andrew winces in pain, clutching his chest]
[Rapid heartbeat is picked up on the tape]
[Andrew breathes raggedly, trying to calm down]
[Forces himself to breathe slowly]
[Audible heartbeat slowly fades]
[Exhales slowly]
[Shifts back in plastic chair]
But I couldn’t. [Scoffs quietly] Even if I knew what to say to change their minds, the… the school board was never going to let a known homosexual teach their kids. Not that Cait stuck around long enough to figure that out. She already skipped town. I think she knew this would happen eventually if she kept going, I just wish…
[Beat]
[Sighs] Thank god Debbie wasn’t implicated. I heard some people whispering after church, but they all said she couldn’t be, because we’re together. I figure that’s the only reason I haven’t been found out too, and… we need to keep it that way.
[Andrew leans back and pulls something out of his pocket]
[He pulls out a small, felted box]
[Squeaky hinge open]
I, uh… I bought the ring on the way into town this morning. Little pawn shop downtown… most places were closed for President’s Day, but not them. I’m gonna ask Debbie on Friday. I know it’s fake, s-so will she, but… it has to be done. I can’t… I can’t run away from another life. Not again.
[Beat]
And I can’t ask her to either.
[Click]
[Silence]
[Click]
[Honeymoon suite of a small hotel]
[City traffic filter in through the window]
[Bathtub fills with water in the next room]
[Footsteps pace back and forth over carpet]
Andrew Sheridan
How the hell did this follow us? There’s no one here who knows us, that’s why we chose St. Louis, but… why else would this be there? Who could have found us? Why would they–
Deborah Fielding
Andrew? Is that you?
Andrew Sheridan
Uh… yeah honey, it’s… it’s just me.
Deborah Fielding
What on earth are you doing?
Andrew Sheridan
Uh… nothing, I just… there was a parking ticket on the car when I went out.
Deborah Fielding
A ticket? What for?
Andrew Sheridan
I-I uh… I parked us too close to a fire hydrant last night, I guess I just didn’t see it. [Small, faked laugh]
Deborah Fielding
[Muttered] Land’s sake…
Andrew Sheridan
It’s fine, d-don’t worry about it, just, uh… just enjoy your bath.
[She doesn’t reply]
[Beat]
[Footsteps over carpet]
[Closes bedroom door]
[Beat]
[Crosses to bed, sits down on the edge of it]
Andrew Sheridan
[Hushed, urgent] I need to record this. Because if I die… I don’t want the future to forget me. I have to believe… a time is coming, and… and coming soon, when people like me and–and Cait and Debbie will be able to tell the truth about who we are and who we love. That they’ll finally be able to see us for who we are. I have to believe there’s a future waiting for us that will be kinder and more accepting and… and better than the world I’ve know. Because if there isn’t… I’m not sure if this is all worth it. The fear. The secrets. The lies we tell to survive.
[Deep, shuddering breath]
I found a note on the window of our car, when I went out to get the last of our bags. It was typewritten, plain cardstock, nothing to identify the source. It had been there for hours… maybe all night. No way I’ll ever be able to tell who left it, but whoever it was… they must know. They have to. There’s no other explanation that makes any goddamn sense, and…
[Beat]
[Deep, steadying breath]
“The sins of the father are to be visited upon the children.” That’s all it says, but… the warning couldn’t be clearer. Someone’s calling our bluff. They know that neither of us really want this marriage, or… what comes with it.
[Long beat]
[Shifts on the bed, scoffing – close to tears]
You know… sometimes I wish I’d stayed with Ed. He was going to burn the world down with his paranoia, but… maybe we could have been happy before that happened. Maybe… maybe I could have talked him down if we both hadn’t been so scared of what the future could bring. Maybe there’s a world out there where we were all just… happy. Me and Ed… Debbie and Cait.
[Long beat]
But the die is cast. This is the world we made — the world our parents and their parents made, and we… we just have to live in it as best we can. Who knows… maybe there will be some happiness in it before the end. I did always want to be a dad. I just hope our children won’t hate us for making them our alibi. Maybe… they’ll be the ones to bring that future into being. To take what we lost and… make it into joy.
[Beat]
[Scoffs, falls back onto bed]
[Long beat]
Deborah and I have been thinking about names for a while now. I guess a part of us knew that we’d have to do this eventually, even if we… didn’t want to accept it. If it’s a boy — I want to call him Edward. And, uh, if she’s a girl… we’ll call her Katherine. Kate.
[Clack]
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