Interlude 03: "Music of the Spheres" – The Sheridan Tapes
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CONTENT WARNING: Depictions of grief and loss, existential dread, and mentions of apocalyptic events and their aftermath
Through the shifting waters of the Source, many possible futures can be seen by those trapped beyond the veil. This is one such future…
As a colony spaceship flees the smoking ruins of a dead Earth with humanity’s future in tow, its captain transmits the musical legacy of his planet into the void. Little does he know that someone (or something) is listening… and waiting.
Starring Van Winkle as Adam Ainsley and Lauren Baker as the Jovian, with Meredith Nudo as Amy Sterling and original music by Jesse Haugen. Written by Van Winkle and produced by Virginia Spotts, with dialogue editing and sound design by Van Winkle. This episode was made possible by our supporters at Patreon.com/homesteadcorner, ko-fi.com/homesteadcorner, and our backers on Seed&Spark.
For more information, additional content, and episode transcript, visit thesheridantapes.com
Script
Transcript
CONTENT WARNING: Depictions of grief and loss, existential dread, and mentions of apocalyptic events and their aftermath
[Swirling energies of the Source]
Amy Sterling
The Source. The infinite potential of all worlds. The roiling chaos that is the heart of all existences. The place where all space and time and realities meet and coexist as one. A place that is not a place, in a time that is not a time.
On a Christmas Eve not so long ago, an astrophysics student who longed to see the stars met an engineer who saw them as the key to humanity’s salvation. They talked of the beauty and terror of space and time and existence — and they left as more than friends. [she laughs] As the years wore on, they saw each other only occasionally, as their work often kept them apart — but they did love one another, deeply and truly as any two people have ever loved. The student’s name was Adam… and his lover, Ren.
There are many paths his life could have taken… many branches in the road shaped by choice and chance and the unsteady hand of fate. But out of all the possible futures I have seen for Adam and for Ren… this one breaks my heart the most. I cannot say if it is the future of the world I knew or just one like it, but still… it intrigues me.
[Swirling energies of the Source fade away]
[The discordant radio signals of Jupiter]
[A man in a starship begins speaking through his radio]
Adam Ainsley
…and that, ladies and and gentlemen, was the voice of Jupiter, now passing by the Starboard portholes. If you look closely, you’ll be able to see the bright blue auroras around the northern hemisphere. A few thousand miles south is the great red spot, [his voice begins to lose the radio effect] swirling, as it has since the beginning of recorded history, at a speed of 400 miles per hour: a hurricane twice the size of the planet Ear—
[he cuts off]
Huh. Guess I’m, uh, going to choose a different point of reference.
[Brief pause]
But never mind the sound of radio waves produced by an unimaginably large celestial body of gas and liquid hydrogen! That’s not what you’re here for, folks! Nope: this is Radio Free Space, broadcasting live from the ISC Johnny Appleseed — in transit from, ‘so long and thanks for all the fish’ to ‘the restaurant at the end of the universe!’ I’m your host, Commander Adam Ainsley, AKA Lonestar McStarWolf, AKA Hanikan Starwalker, AKA… um, whatever I called myself before that.
So! As the only ambulatory crew member aboard this tin can, I’m lucky enough to be in possession of this little million-dollar radio kit, along with virtually unlimited free time!
I am, of course, also unlucky enough to have both, and since the ship is currently corkscrewing its way towards interstellar space, there isn’t much for me to do. Thankfully for both of us, this colony craft comes equipped not only with the complete genetic material of all creatures great and small, but with the single most comprehensive database of all literature, art, and music ever assembled! So, just kick back, relax, and enjoy the twenty year ride to Barnard’s Star, as we [classical music softly begins in background] take it back a notch with — and I know I’m going to butcher this pronunciation — ‘Salut d’amour, Opus 12’ by Edward Elgar. [his voice takes on the radio effect again] This is Radio Free Space, transmitting in the blind.
[Salut d’amour mixes with the sounds of space]
[The movement ends, Adam’s voice returns after a sigh]
…and we’re back! Ladies, gentlemen, and any otherworldly entities listening in on this broadcast: that was ‘Salut d’amour, Opus 12’ by Edward Elgar, on Radio Free Space. I…
I… I just, um…
I want to take this moment to give a shout-out to a very special listener. Okay, I know they’re not technically listening — at least, not in any way that’s empirically confirmable — but it’s their birthday, and I know they hate it when I forget, so… happy birthday Ren. That last song? That was for you.
‘Salut, mon amour.’ Until we meet again.
[Click, radio switches off]
[Main Theme]
[Sounds of space in the background, heavy radio static]
[The interior of the spaceship hums]
[Adam is crying]
Come on Ainsley. Knock it off.
[Drill sergeant impression] Pull yourself together Commander, or by gum I’ll toss you out that airlock myself!
Oh, maybe you should just get it over with.
[He begins singing to himself]
“Ground Control to Major Tom…”
“And I think it’s going to be a long long…”
[Static spike, the sounds of space are in the capsule, buzzing sharply]
[Adam screams]
[Buzz of radio]
[The noises fade, and we hear Adam recovering]
Adam Ainsley
Okay. That was — awful.
Entity (through radio)
Thank You.
Adam Ainsley
H — hello?
Entity
Hello, Lonestar McStarWolf. Pleasure to meet you.
[Pause, then Adam laughs]
Adam Ainsley
Oh, that’s it then. I’ve finally cracked. Finally gone off the deep end. One’s flown over the coo-coo’s nest, and guess who? Here’s Adam!
Entity
You are not crazy.
Adam Ainsley
I’m not?
Entity
You have not cracked up — yet. This is not an illusion, Hanikin.
Adam Ainsley
That’s not my na… who are you? Where are you?
[Electric noise begins]
Entity
Be with you in a moment.
[A crackle fills the air; Adam screams]
[The noise builds to a steady hum with occasional sparks]
[The Entity now stands before him]
Entity
Here are we, come as we are, as we were…
Adam Ainsley
[Nervously singing] “…as I want you to be.”
Entity
“Otherworldly Entities.”
Adam Ainsley
Excuse me?
Entity
Is this what you pictured when you said “Otherworldly Entities?”
Adam Ainsley
Not — not exactly. No. I… I didn’t picture — anything.
Entity
Why then did you contact us?
Adam Ainsley
What do you mean, contact you?
[The Entity makes a rewinding noise, voice doubling with Adam’s]
Entity
“This is Radio Free Space, broadcasting live from the ISC Johnny Appleseed…”
Adam Ainsley
Hold on, hold on — you were listening to that?
Entity
They are always listening. Always hearing.
Adam Ainsley
No no, Someone was actually listening to my broadcast? That’s awesome! I can’t believe after all this time I have an aud… wait. They? Who’s they?
[The Entity crackles as it moves]
Adam Ainsley
Jupiter?
Entity
You are noisy. Your Earth. Calling out into the airless. “Transmitting in the blind.” They and we are always hearing.
Adam Ainsley
You’ve — been listening to our radio signals?
Entity
So many voices. So much song. Countless the things we have no name for — what you brought out into the blind with you. Tell me…
[Adam cries out in pain, humming and sparking in the air]
Entity
…what is that called?
Adam Ainsley
Pain! Pain! Stop! Stop it!
[The sound stops, Adam breathes in relief]
Entity
What is it?
Adam Ainsley
What is what?
Entity
Pain. What is it?
Adam Ainsley
You… don’t know what pain is?
Entity
We and they are sound and light and thought. Your physical existences are a novelty to us. Explain.
Adam Ainsley
Well, it’s kind of hard to — I mean, there’s a lot of different theories, like, you know, evolutionary utility, social function…
[Static crackle and hum, Adam cries out again]
Entity
Explain.
Adam Ainsley
Bad! Very bad! Very very — not good feeling!
[Static fades, Adam gasps in relief]
Entity
Feeling.
Adam Ainsley
Yeah, feeling. It doesn’t feel good.
Entity
Explain.
Adam Ainsley
Explain what?
Entity
Feeling.
Adam Ainsley
Explain feel — look, buddy, Mr. Jupiter Man… Thing… it’s not the sort of thing you can explain to someone who — who can’t…
Entity
What is the function of feeling?
Adam Ainsley
Function! Hell if I know! Sorry Dr. Manhattan, but I never did get the user manual on this thing! Nobody did!
Entity
Why do you feel pain?
Adam Ainsley
Because you hurt me!
[Rewinding noise]
Entity
“I hurt myself today — to see if I still…”
Adam Ainsley
Oh give me a break…
Entity
Radio Free Space, transmission 026. What do these words mean?
Adam Ainsley
I don’t know. Ask Johnny Cash.
Entity
Whom?
Adam Ainsley
Johnny. Cash.
Entity
Who is this monetary entity of whom you speak?
Adam Ainsley
No, no, not money — Cash.
Entity
Synonym detected. Equivocation. Distinction irrelevant.
Adam Ainsley
No, that’s — that’s his name.
Entity
Name?
Adam Ainsley
Oh, for the love of… you don’t know what names are?
Entity
Arbitrary linguistic markers used for identification by non-telepathic organisms. Irrelevant. What is love?
Adam Ainsley
[Singing] “Baby don’t hurt me…”
Entity
Hurt. Song by Jonathan Mon — Johnny Cash. Previously referenced. Describes sensory experience known as pain. Is this relevant to current query?
Adam Ainsley
Is it… look, buddy, it’s been a very long — well, a long couple of years, and I really don’t have time to…
[Static crackle, Adam cries out]
Entity
You do not enjoy the experience you call pain, correct?
Adam Ainsley
No! No! Definitely not!
[Static changes, Adam stops crying out]
[Static is almost melodic]
Entity
And what about this? Do you enjoy this?
Adam Ainsley
What… what are you doing? What is this?
Entity
We may be incorrect, but they believe we are generating the feeling you call “love.”
Adam Ainsley
How — how did you…
Entity
We intercepted your words across the lightless for years uncounted, translating and understanding. Your “feelings,” you bring with you. To reproduce them is no difficulty.
[The sound fades, now we only hear the regular static of the Entity]
Entity
Who is Ren?
Adam Ainsley
What?
[A button on the console clicks, and Salut D’Amour begins to play again]
Adam Ainsley
How. Did you…
Entity
Electro-chemical response was tied to the neural impulses connected to that name. Simple enough to trigger…
Adam Ainsley
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Entity
What?
Adam Ainsley
Get. Out. Of. My! HEAD!!
Entity
Commander Starwalker, we…
Adam Ainsley
You have no right! No right to come into my ship and start poking your fingers in my brain…
Entity
Allusion irrelevant, we do not have “fingers”…
Adam Ainsley
Shut up! Just — Shut UP! You want to know what love is? You want to know? “Baby don’t hurt me!” God, for a Jovian you really are dumb as a pile of rocks!
Entity
Commander, please don’t…
Adam Ainsley
No, no no no, don’t worry, I won’t. I won’t! I’ll just explain to you, very precisely and calmly, why it’s not okay for you to go shoving emotions around in people’s brains!
Entity
The emotion was positively charged — associated with strong neural pathways that suggest the entity called Ren was…
Adam Ainsley
…was brilliant! Was incredible! Was the most beautiful person I’ve ever known or ever will! And he’s…
[Adam breaks down in tears]
Entity
Is this — is this pain? Did we cause you…
Adam Ainsley
No. No. You didn’t cause — this. [he sniffles] It’s not your fault.
Entity
Whose is the fault?
Adam Ainsley
Not yours. Not his, either. Probably mine.
Entity
How are you to blame?
Adam Ainsley
You’d be surprised. Besides, I’m probably just being a big baby about it. It’s not like he’s the only one who’s gone. Not by a long shot.
Entity
The reaction was involuntary.
Adam Ainsley
I’m just making mountains out of — smaller mountains. That’s all. [he laughs once] I’m lucky, you know. At least I’m still alive. Most people can’t say that.
Entity
How are those factors relevant?
Adam Ainsley
God, you’re full of questions today, aren’t you? You know, I think I preferred talking to the endless void, to be honest. Look, why don’t you go back to your ginormous gasbag in the sky and keep listening? I’m pretty sure I was planning a lecture series on human emotions for all the aliens in the audience. Probably.
[Brief pause]
Entity
We couldn’t wait for that.
Adam Ainsley
We couldn’t…
[Pause]
What do you mean, you couldn’t wait?
[No answer]
Helllllo? Casper the friendly disembodied space monster? Anything you’d like to tell the class?
Entity
You came too far.
Adam Ainsley
What?
Entity
They let your probes and satellites pass into the lightless. We let you peer into the beyond and wonder. So long as your minds and — bodies, you kept away. You crawled out of your holes to walk upon the moon a handful of times, then crawled back again, and all the while your signals screamed into the stars. They clawed at our ears, but still we listened. We heard. We learned. And now — quiet at last. Only one voice in the soundless. One mind, one body, coming to cross the line which they have drawn.
Adam Ainsley
What line?
Entity
The last threshold. The doorway to the stars. Where we must decide.
Adam Ainsley
Decide… what?
Entity
If human beings were doomed from the day they crawled out of their holes. And if they carry that doom with them.
Adam Ainsley (through gritted teeth)
And how exactly are you supposed to decide that?
Entity
By a determination of which drives your actions.
Adam Ainsley
Which? Which what? I…
Entity
Love.
Adam Ainsley
Excuse me?
Entity
Pain.
Adam Ainsley
Oh no, I’m good on both, thanks.
Entity
We understand neither…
Adam Ainsley
No shit…
Entity
…but we determine that one of the two controls human action. We cannot decide which.
Adam Ainsley
Why does that matter!?
Entity
Because one we can create easily, to keep in check the danger. The other humans must create between themselves.
Adam Ainsley
You created the other easy enough…
Entity
We created nothing. We activated existent neurological machinery. The connection to Ren created it.
Adam Ainsley
You’re talking about it like it was real…
Entity
It was real. Is real.
Adam Ainsley
It’s just love. Just — feelings.
Entity
It is more than a feeling.
Adam Ainsley
[Singing] “More than a feeling…”
Entity
The mental architecture is strong and stable, even with the passage of time…
Adam Ainsley
Five years…
Entity
Time elapsed noted. It is real. Adam. It began as a feeling, but we see now objective reality. We can see nothing else.
Adam Ainsley
Thanks for the diagnosis, Doc.
Entity
Who is this Doc?
Adam Ainsley
Oh, for crying out loud — look, if I knew my show was such a hit on Jupiter FM, I would’ve started with the encyclopedia Britannica! I’m sure we have it in the data files. Somewhere.
[Static crackles, sounds of space are louder and closer]
Entity
They need your answer now.
Adam Ainsley
What answer?
Entity
Which will control your species’ actions when they awaken among the stars?
Adam Ainsley
You want me to answer that?
Entity
The line approaches. You have five minutes to determine…
Adam Ainsley
No, no, no Doc, you’re not hearing the question. Why do you want ME to answer that question?
[Brief pause, then the Entity sighs]
Entity
Because we cannot.
[Adam sighs]
Adam Ainsley
Yeah, me neither. Jeez. I mean, The whole future of the human race is riding shotgun with me, and I can’t even pretend to have an answer to that.
[Taking on a cheesy, positive voice] Well of course, sir, humankind is only motivated by the most noble of emotions! We’ve never done anything because we’re afraid! Because we fear pain! Or even because we’re afraid of love! It’s all just love! The all love, all the time show! “Love is all you need…”
[Regular voice] Yeah. I don’t think even you’d buy that. You saw what love did to me. It made me angry. It hurt me.
[He scoffs]
“I will let you down. I will make you hurt.”
I didn’t just leave him to die with the rest of the planet, you know. I left him before that. Everybody knew what this mission would take — the politicians, the crew, everybody. We all knew we weren’t coming back. But I was the only one who had any attachments on Earth. ISFA didn’t know — no one knew. We hadn’t told anyone — I mean, his family just wouldn’t have understood. But he told me I couldn’t turn down this chance. I had to survive, and hey! He knew I always wanted to go to space. I tried to fight him. I told him I was going to turn it down, stay with him no matter what. So the next morning he told me he was leaving. But we both knew the score. I was the one leaving, not him.
And you know what? Maybe if I’d been more afraid of losing him, I’d have fought harder to hold on. Maybe if it hurt more to say goodbye, I wouldn’t have. Maybe if he hadn’t loved me enough to let me go, we would’ve been together at the end. Maybe the last thing I said to him could’ve been ‘I love you,’ not ‘You’re an asshole.’ And now all I’ve got is pain. Pain to keep me moving forward. To force me to keep going, to stay distracted, to try and do right. To do right by him.
Maybe I don’t deserve a second chance out there. But if — if just, maybe, there’s one person in those gene banks just a little bit like Ren — then they deserve a chance. They deserve a chance to love — even if it hurts.
You know, Doc… Doc?
[Only the hum of the spaceship]
Adam Ainsley
Where did they…
[Spike of static on the radio]
Oh shit, the line!
[He scrambles for the controls as the ship begins to rattle and shake]
Telemetry, telemetry, telemet… there! Okay, okay, fine. Well, not fine, but not in the red. Yet. Okay. 02 holding. Good. Now if the ship would just stop shaking, and — okay, okay, now telemetry’s in the red. Doc, if you’re listening, I’m going off the rails of this crazy train! Need a little help from my friends! I’m — AHHH!
[The console sparks, throwing Adam across the cockpit with a crash]
[Stuff clatters to the ground]
Ow.
[Static and shaking stops]
D — Doc? Are you there?
[The console clicks by itself–classical music begins playing]
You clever sonofa…
[Adam grunts, picks himself up, and walks back to the console and radio]
Welcome back to Radio Free Space! Sorry for the short lapse in transmission, but you know, sometimes things just happen. That’s life, isn’t it? Even life in a tin can, floating far above the world. Seems we’ve had a listener’s request while I was off, [his voice begins to be heard through the radio] so, for your listening pleasure: Gustav Holst’s “The Planets, Opus 32 — Jupiter.”
Happy birthday, Ren.
[The movement swells, mingling with the sounds of space]
[It plays out to a crescendo]
[The swirling energies of the Source return]
Amy Sterling
The future… always shifting, always uncertain — and even more so within the Source. Only in time can we know which future comes to pass… or if there is a future at all… for Adam and the ark at his command fled from a calamity which claimed the Earth, and I cannot help but remember Anna’s dreams of Apocalypse… and the visions of a ship sailing through the stars to its doom. I am Amy Sterling, and within this place I see all the worlds that I have lost… though maybe not forever.
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